From Heartbreaker to being deeply in love.
So i was 14, going to high school like any other 14year old kid. I wasn't particular good looking, not too tall, skinny, didn't care much about how i dress or how messy my hair was, but that was fine with me. This one day i met a girl, which i thought i fell in love with. She was in most of my classes and considered me a friend. In 3years of high school i never got a chance to tell her how i felt because she was always with someone else... I later discovered that she had switched boyfriends so many times because she was a cheater and very unfaithful.
The discovery of this changed my life, for the better or worse is for you to decide, but after high school i decided that love, and having emotions made me a weak person, being susceptible to feelings made me vulnerable, and caring made me defenceless. So i turned my life around, i started working out, shopped for expensive clothing, ditched some of my friends to get "cooler" ones, went out clubbing underage... the life i wish i had back in high school to impress that girl. And it worked, my personality just went from a video game playing nobody, to someone that could choose which girl to have for which night...
For about 6months, from the age of 17 to 18 i was a completely different person. Metro-sexual, cocky, a jock, a player... whatever the definition.
I had many one night stands, my first time was with a girl i wasn't even dating, deliberately gave false hope to girls that i knew liked me, planned my week ends depending on which girl i wanted to see... The perfect player.
I could not enjoy my life any more, i never wanted to fall in love, never wanted to worry about caring for someone... i wanted to be rich, good looking and forever young. That's until i met her...
She was the same age as me, a few weeks older, she is tall, just a bit shorter than me. thin, tanned, with wavy brown hair. Unfortunately i cannot say my first words when i first saw her were: "wow..." but rather "3weeks in and out" to my friend also starring at her with the same dirty thoughts going through our minds.
She was sitting in our Spanish class, and i came in late. It was our first class of the semester. I scan the room and see an empty spot besides my friend all waving at me, but then i see a spot next to her. What follows is probably the best decision i ever made in my entire life: i sat besides her and started flirting with her like i would with any other girl. She does nothing out of the ordinary and flirts back, nothing new here i thought i had myself a easy free hook up. So about a week after, i ask her out in the smoothest way possible, playing all my cards right thinking I'm hitting the jackpot pretty soon.
What happens next i cannot explain in a text, nor can i in a book. I don't believe in magic, nor do i believe in miracles, but something happened, that once again changed my life for good...
Before you Krista i had never shed a tear, nor for my mom's failed attempt to kill herself, nor for her diagnosis of schizophrenia. Watching a sad romantic movie did not bulge my heart or spark any emotion. You somehow found a way to reach my heart, despite the stone cold defence i laid around it. You showed me something i never thought existed, You broke in my fortress and saved me from the darkness i surrounded myself with.
Today i am writing this, at 5o'clock in the morning because i cannot sleep, my brain wont shut down because it needs to see you, even after a year and a half my heart still beats strong for you.
Today i am still with the love of my life, aged 19 i owe happiness to my other half, she showed me what love can do, and how wrong the path i chose was... i cannot thank you enough and i will give you my love forever. Thank you for loving me, Even thought i do not deserve it.