My Best Friend
I am Gay, and I am in love with my best friend. It sounds pathetic doesn't it? But there's nothing i can do about it, i don't want it. I was always attracted to her, so it started off as a crush, but we soon became best friends. The better friends we became, the more guilty i became about my feelings about her. It is such a horrible feeling. I hate it, but i Loveher, She makes me happy, and there's nothing i can do.
The worst thing about it is that she's constantly telling me how much she loves me ( as a friend ) and how much she appreciates me. we tell each other everything, and spend most days together. It would be so unfair on her to tell her how i feel so i mustn't, ever. I will always have to keep this to myself, and it hurts. I wonder if this friendship is worth keeping, considering how much i am hurting.
She has now started having feelings for my brother and sleeping with him. It breaks my heart. it's making me dislike him, which is totally unfair as neither of them are doing anything wrong. It is so frustrating, as i know that if she were attracted to women then i could give her everything she wanted and needed. But i can't, my brother doesn't have feelings for her, and that is what makes it even more frustrating. He takes it for granted, that he can give her the only thing that i can't. I can't fullfill her, and i hate that it's something like that, which is the reason that i can never hold her, and never kiss her, and she will never know, i will not let her know... just please make these feelings go away, i will have to live with this pain untill they do. they Hurt!