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It's hard to say goodbye to the one you really love..

last october my friend given me a callmate named Julius,we call each other almost everyday and everynight..until we decided to meet at my place. november 1,there's a 'battle of the band'in our plaza.,we watch there together and made some talks until he decided to go home..he became my BESTFRIEND as time goes by.i tell him everything..my problems and my thoughts.one day he introduced to me his friends namely Jonathan,Jade & Raven and his cousin named Kurt Ruzzel who became my boyfriend.when i decided to work in a far place away from my hometown,i lose communication with my bf because he also decided to go to manila for work..but i never lose communication with my bestfriend.I called him when i have a time..after 2 months,i got the contact # of my bf and called him..he tell me that he decided to let his ex back to him one week ago..he also said he really loves me but he didn't find me and 2months is long enough for him to wait..it makes me sad but it won't hurt me because honestly,i don't love him that much..after that break up,we stay friends but there's something change of course..but it never affects my relationship with my bestfriend and our friends..2 months after,jonathan court me but i told him he's just a friend to me..april 3,I asked my bestfriend to be my boyfriend but for me it's just all for fun..he deal with it..april 7,my 1st bonding with him as my boyfriend..i told him the truth that our relationship is just a game for me but i also admit to him that seriously,i love him more than bestfriend..& he said he felt the same way too since our first met..he didn't told me about it because he give way for his cousin to love me.we decided to be serious in our relationship.I'm so happy that time..we made promises & I feel like i will never been hurt anymore..but as other love stories..it ended full of pain..he let his self go back to his ex and decided to leave me..it really hurts me! i felt like hell! i cried everyday & everynight until it goes in time that i attempt to cut my wrist..thanks to my brother in law he put the blade off my hand..after a few days,i called him up,we're both sorry for each other..he told me he really loves me but he needs to go back to his ex coz she is 2months pregnant..he asked if we can bring back our being bestfriends before despite what happened,i agreed because i love him so much and i can't afford to lose him.being his bestfriend is good enough for me atleast i will see him & talk to him as long as i want.atleast i know that he's just there..our friends and my ex doesn't know about this..a few days passed..jonathan continue to court me..i decided to accept him as my boyfriend for me to move on 'bout what happened between me & my bestfriend..i told my bestfriend about it & he agreed..last night,we have a get together with my friends and sisters.they are part of it.in the middle of that get together,i spend my time to my boyfriend and i started to love him back although it's really hard.when i find time to talk to my bestfriend..he asked me if i'm happy with my boyfriend and i answered honestly that i'm not.he told me that he's getting married next next month..i'm invited.he asked me if i will be there in his wedding day..i never talk..he told me he really loves me but he can do nothing..he asked me to fight for him,& you know in what way?? be his bride..i'm shock! i told him..."alam mo kung gaano kita kamahal at gusto kitang ipaglaban..hanggang ngayon umaasa parin ako na babalik ka sa akin kahit alam kong wala ng pag asa at gusto ko pag kinasal ka ako ang bride mo..pero pwede pa bang mangyari yun ngayon? hindi na! dahil madadamay ang magiging anak nyo na wala pang alam sa mundo..kahit hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko,kahit magulong magulo na ang utak ko,tinitiis ko na lang para sa ikatatahimik nating lahat.kahit gustong gusto ko ng mahulog sa pinakamalalim na bangin habang sumisigaw ako para lang mabawasan ang bigat na nararamdaman ko" we both cried..i embrace him & told that it's enough but i'm willing to be his bestfriend forever...

sa ngayon, mag bestfriend pa rin kami..i love my boyfriend pero isa lang ang napatunayan ko..walang sinuman ang makakahigit sa pagmamahal na binigay ko sa bestfriend ko...

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