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Well, im eighteen now... and i still cry over him... even if he's dead

Well, when i was fifteen, (he was ninteen) i started to have this crush on this one guy from my church. He was very tall, very handsome/cute, buff, good lookin. No disrespect, but he also had a really nice body. He looked like as if he was those armani exchange models. I started to like him not only for his looks, but for who he was. He was very funny! always had a sense of humor and was alwasy able to make someone laugh, though in flirtaseous ways. In the summer, he started to talking to my best freind and my best freind also really liked him... she just never knew i had a crush on him. Anyways, he told her that he likes my bestfreind and for some reason, whenever they got into a conversation, i was always mentioned and he always said that i'm a tard... like, he'd call all the girls pretty but whenever he mentioned me, he always said i was a tard. Yes, i did hurt everytime because day by day, i was falling for his eyes and face even more. On thanksgiving, he texted me saying i was gorgeous. He told me he liked me and thought i was very beautiful. After that thanksgiving, every single sunday, every time i saw him, we would catch eachother eyeing eachother about thirty times. He started to talk to me even more. Just before my sixteenth birthday which was in March, he started acting very wierd... he wouldnt come up to any of the girls (although we'd still eye eachother)... he wouldnt really talk to them either... no more texting... nada. he even deleted all of the girls' phone numbers from his phonebook. I thought that was it. Then out of NOWHERE, he moved. It's been atleast a year and a half and i still couldnt stop thinking about him. Then somewhere in the summer, I went to a dance competition in Florida to get a scholarship and i saw him there. Miraculously, I was partnered up to do a dance with him to  QT call me. Every single day at practice he would be talking about how pretty and sexy the girl is that he likes and how funny she is and how much his heart starts to beat when she's around and how he loved her almond shaped eyes... it was very annoying. The fact that i was still not over him just killed me because i knew he moved on... Our dance was a love dance which he danced hiphop and i danced lyrical/hiphop. it was a very pretty dance. After a month of practicing and after a month of listening to his girl and listening to him how retarded i was, it was showtime. I started to dislike him because he was a jerk and he hated on me for no apperant reason. When we performed  our dance in front a a big crowd of about 3000 people, at the very end of the dance, the last move was him grabbing me by the waist and pulling our faces very close together when just then he kissed me. I WANTED TO CRY! first he says how retarded i am and then pulls of a surprise kiss??? i starred him down.(we got second place for dance and choreography) later tha day when i got out of the lockerroom, he pulled me to a wall and told me that this whole time the girl was me and he kissed me again. We started dating for three months and he left to go to dance practice when he got into a car accident. He got hit by a drunk driver. I will never forget him... his face... his lips... his touch. I will always love him... no matter what... his friends showed me the engagment ring he got me too.... i wanted to die 

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