First... Valentine's Day... 2007
I just don't understand... I just wish things weren't this way... I just wish things were like they were back when we started... the sweetness.. the romance.. everything...
I hate this time of the year so much... it depresses me... Valentine's Day season... it's not that I don't like it... It's just the fact that I had the most amazing Valentine's Day back in 2007... it was romantic... sweet... and the best feeling.. it was so special... I just wish I had the same feeling again... What hurts the most is thinking back to the happy memories with you... and knowing it'll never be the same again... Why can't things be simple... I just wish things between me and you weren't this way... I just wish we could be like "that" again... I still remember our Valentine's Day perfectly... every bit of it... because it was that special. Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Morning I was in Middleton doing a FRANK promotion, whilst you was in college. We had blow up sofas, I remember how fun the day was and how excited I was, but the excitement wasn't for the campaign... it was or you... I knew you had planned something... I even had an outfit planned.. you didn't even tell me if we were going out... but I sensed we would... That whole morning I was thinking of you, and thinking of what you may have planned, I looked forward to seeing you at 4pm that afternoon. Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Afternoon- 3:30pm We had packed up the FRANK equipment and was ready to call it a day. At this point I was very excited and couldn't stop smiling, but I wondered where you was. I knew you finished college early that day, because t was a Thursday and you normally got to my house for about 3:30pm so I wondered where you was when you hadn't arrived in Middleton to pick me up by 3:45pm... So I waited, walked around a little.. I remember whilst I waited I went into the Flower shop near Wilkinson's and bought a single red rose... I know it was a guy thing to do... But I wanted to show you how special you really was to me! I also bought you a big helium balloon saying "I Love You" I felt like a numpty carrying it around waiting for you. Then I got your call at about 4pm so I went to the car park outside McDonald's and got into your cute little car... I remembered how silly you looked when you saw the balloon and rose... Thinking about it now is making me smile so much... and my eyes just turn into a river... I noticed that you even wore the shirt we bought in Next together, you wasn't sure because it was pink... But you still got it because I liked it, and you wore it on the day. When I asked you where's your college uniform you said you had changed in college... So I didn't think anything of it. Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Home 4:30pm Once I was home, I was jumpy and my brother thought I was a little insane... My parents had already left for work, my grandma wasn't home at this point as she was on holiday with my Auntie and family. I felt quite bad leaving my little brother home and going out.. But he understood. I remember telling him I was going to get changed, so I basically flew up the stairs and when I went into my room I went to the wardrobe... But I was so excited I hadn't realised the BIG surprise you had left on my bed... The most beautiful dozen of red roses I had ever seen... The biggest card envelope I had ever seen... Then when I turned to the door you was there laughing because I started crying... Then I remembered I had to give you you're gifts too.. So I got out that Millie's Cookie in a shape of a heart which had the words "Vivian Loves Vinnie Forever" on it... I knew how much you loved Millie's and expected you to eat it.. but I was laughing so much when you said you wouldn't eat it.. Then we were just sat in my bed talking and looking at the roses, I remember how you was saying they cost so much, and he would only get the best roses for the best girlfriend... Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Ready to go out 6:00pm At this point I was all dressed up and I remember you saying "I never said we were going out anywhere" I ignored you because it was blatantly obvious as you was all dressed up and had your keys ready... As I left I saw my brother east his dinner, we set off and just as we got onto the main road you stopped the car.. I wondered what was up as you got out and went into your boot... Then you came back with a small Swarovski bag and told me to open it... I thought it was the little bear with the heart balloon.. But when I opened it it was a little clear crystal vase with 6 crystal red roses.. and inside you left me a small note saying "I'll love you til the last one dies" At this point everything was perfect and I said "these don't die.. you do know?" I remember the way you looked at me... Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Ikan, Manchester 6:30pm I'll never forget that restaurant, it has the most amazing atmosphere, all dimmed and they had all little hearts and things... I remember we ordered the stuffed chicken wings and the sliced duck breast. During the meal there was a singer by the piano and she sang a great song... and everytime I hear that song I think of that special day. "Get Here" by Oleta Adams. After the meal I wanted a balloon from the restaurant but we didn't have one and I remember you asking the guy next to you i you could have the balloon to give to me... I was so happy I got it! After that we decided to walk around Chinatown on our way back to the car... This is when we walked past one of the underground shops... You said look at that mask. And I literally screamed and ran, it was the scariest mask I had ever seen and all you could do was come after me and laugh at me... I felt so stupid for running off, but you just held me and made me feel better... I was too scared to move an inch away from you after that... Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Rusholme 8:30pm We decided we didn't want the night to be over yet, so we drove into Rusholme, we bought a cute little heart shaped cake, rasmali.. and I wanted to go into Moonlight... like always so we did.. I got my ice cream and we walked around the streets of Rusholme, you bought me a fake plastic rose... of some woman... then further down a man said to you "buy the girl a real rose, much better!" I remember whinging at you then you bought me one and picked the biggest in the bunch... I was a happy girl that night... The drive home was nice... We talked about how we would spend our future Valentine's Days... You was saying how this was your first proper Valentine's Day and you didn't want it to be your last... and I said exactly the same... I knew I couldn't lose you... The whole drive home we talked about us... and the night... the surprises... the day we first met... Everything... past..present and future... The whole day and night spent with you felt like a dream... I just wished it had been a neverending dream... A dream that went on forever. Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Home 10:00pm By this time we were quite tired... Especially you... We ended up on the sofa just talking about nothingness... the nothingness seemed to pass quickly because my parents came home from work... And as I got all excited about telling them the surprise they weren't so enthusiastic they jus replied that they knew because they were still at home when he prepared it all.. I was so hyper. I felt so special with you... You meant everything to me... At the time, I didn't care what happened around me... You was the only one that made me smile... You made everything happen. My mum agreed you could leave at midnight once Valentine's Day was officially over... Because you had to be in college the next day and you had to drive back up to Cheadle Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday/ Friday: Bedroom 00:15am I had read your huge essay card you gave me the card was huge... and you filled every little space with writing... I still remember what you wrote... All the sweet things you promised... All the plans you had... I remember crying when I read it... But I cried because I was happy... I was happy because... just because it was from you... and you really did mean every little thing to me...I really hope that this special memory will stay by me forever... It was my first... my best... and I don't know when it'll be that I'll feel the exact same feeling again... because I heard.. your first real love is the most special, most precious... But... it's also known to be the most painful.