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I am losing the love of my life! Help!!!!!
I married my best friend. He is a great guy and I love him very much! when we got married it was the happiest day of our lives. but something went seriously wrong not with him but with me. after we got married I feel into a very deep depression and started drinking alot and hurting myself. I tried to kill myself many times and I could not figure out what was wrong with me. Im only 22 and have been married for only 1 year. I tried everything I could to make myself happy but i could not. None of this was about him it was all about me between birthcontrol, low selfesteem and all the other antidepressents i was on I was a reck and my drinking got worse and worse. After a year my husband could not take it anymore and left me about 2 months ago and I hate myself for what happend. Now I am trying to fix myself because I dont want to live with out him. I know he loves me and I love him dearly but he cant deal with me. he has been so good to me and now it feels like i will never get him back I dont know what to do to put my marriage back togeather. he needs to beable to trust me that I wont continue to hurt him. I have stopped drinking and stopped hurting myself but it is always in the back of my mind. I know I am the horrible person in my marriage, and am not sure if i even deserve him back. I have been faithful to him and he has been faithful to me even in this very hard time. But Im so scared I will lose him.