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Do you wait or move on?

I'm young and i fell for one of my best friend over a year ago, but we both had partners. he finally told me one day that he liked me, i said i couldn't because i had a boyfriend i cared dearly about. so we both just carried on being friends.

time pasted by and by. as we grew apart our lives changed incredibly different, but we spoke every few months, when we bumped into each other.

as we both broke up with our partners we began to speak on a regular basis. it came up to his birthday, i went to another party and my best friend went to his. as of the next day i saw her, she said he will not stop talking about you, it drove me crazy! i was confused but happy, because my feelings were still there. as we caught up more and more and we grew closer and closer, we decided to give it ago FINALLY. his ex found out we were together ( my ex friend) and she began to make up rumors and rumors to break us up. i fell hard really hard for him, i honestly never thought anyone could ever feel this way about another, id only saw it in movies. i couldn't take the abusive calls and messages from her and her friends anymore. we started to fight on regular basis and he cried please don't listen to her i love you. it was always in the back of my mind, her voice i tried so hard but she wouldn't go away. in the end he broke up with me because id drifted apart from him and he couldn't take us fighting anymore. he has a new girlfriend and i break my heart continuously day in and day out. i don't have the guts to tell him i still love him and want him back. i realised she was just playing games and i let her win. all i wish for his him to just appear back into my life. all i want to say to him is: I'm so sorry i love you more than you could ever know, only if i knew what i do now then.

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