fiesta 2008, i met F in a disco bar, we talked, drunk and had fun. he's so hot unlike the other guys that i met previously. he seem to be really experienced with 'things'. he asked me to be with him that night but i was reluctant because i knew beforehand what might happen. i declined him but he kept on insisting. he seem so irresistible. another guy B, came up and brought me to the dance floor. i went with B because i know I'll be a lot safer. we danced all night without minding the time that passes by. at the corner, i caught a glimpse of F, he seem furious and his friends were poking fun on him because B got me. i enjoyed it. to prevent confrontations between them, i left the bar.
ever since then i regretted that i left them, F, to be specific. then a week after, we met coincidentally, i never thought that he was still into me. again, he asked me to be with him. then i talked with him, i asked him, "IF I'LL GO WITH YOU, IS THERE A COMMITMENT BETWEEN US?". he replied,"LET'S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT NOW, LET'S JUST 'do it' FIRST AND THEN WE'LL SEE IF SOMETHING WORKS OUT.". i was dumbfounded. i asked him again if how he sees me. he replied that I'm just a chick. i was disappointed, i never thought that he was into me because he want to get "me". i believe I'm worth more than that.
now, in nothingness, i realize that people may come and go but at the end of the day only yourself will be there for you. we must first learn to love ourselves before we give in, extend and give ourselves to others. I'm falling for F but he wants no commitments. i like B but he is already committed.
i can still feel the fever but it is slowly subsiding now...i guess everything that had happened will be nothing but just a fiesta fever...