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He was and still is my one true love

30 September, 2006

It was his eyes, and his smile, his laughter, andthatwonderfulpersonality that hehad thatmademefall in lovein every sense andinthe purestofways.It wastheawkward of it that sometimesmademe thinkif it wasreally love.I hadknown himforabout2yrsbutnever hadeven though about an"us".He was not byany means thetype of guy that iwanted in my life.Ialways thought that he wastooimmature.Idon't know how it happened or when istartedto seehim as more than just a friend.Wewent to the movies onewinter night,that'swhenit allstarted.Wewatched the movie andI'm not sure howwe ended up in the cornerwith hisarmsaround meanda softkiss.By the end ofthenight we wherea "couple".I decided it was best for us to keep it on the low for the moment.After about a week the whole school knew that wewhere nowan"us".At firsti think it waskindaweirdfor both of us. But aftera while we got used to it,actually we became veryclose.We would talk every night, and see each other every day at school.When summergot neari was a little worried with how we wouldmanage our relationship but everything worked out great.He would come over to my house like every afternoon (he only lived a couple of streets from me) and we would go to the park and take long walksthrough thewoods.One time in particular that i rememberwas whenwe sat ata picnic table at the park and watched the sunset.So getting back on track, well all around where a very good couple.The day thatit all came crashing down was one that i had prayed for never to come.July26,2005, a day after our 4 month anniversary.Asi saton thecouch with my cell in one hand and whyping the tears with the other i felt my heartbrake into a million pieces.It was so fast how things happened that when i had barely started to fall into that beautiful dream i awakened. I often think back to it and try to laugh at the memories and smile when i look at his picture instead of cry. I do not regret sharing memories with him or crying long nights, instead i thank god for having let me meet such a great person andforsharing things with him that i thought i would never share. I thought that in him i had found my self but now i realize that i was never lost. My memories of him are some of the mostprecious ones. I never did loose him, hes still here for me and maybe not as i pictured it to be at one point but i like to think that everything happens for a reason. I see him every now and than in school and we talk when we get a chance. My heart still beats every time i hear his voice, and sometimes i still awake froma dreamofhim. I think that love is what makes us strong when we are weak and also makes us weak when we are strong. That's what he has done for me, he made me find a strength in me that has helped me through. Sometimes i regret so much and think of "what ifs" but i cant live off of the past because that is not living. I know that i made mistakes and maybe that's what made it come to an end but i have learned from them and have grown to understand things, now i am more capable to love and be loved. I wont lie because i am scared to love once more but "fear is not of god".He was and still is my one true love, maybe one day i can tell him everything that i have said to you all.

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