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He left me for my own good sake!

19 August, 2002


I have been with him for almost 5 years, and within this 5 years, we have been living together, never separated!


Throughout the cohabitation, we argued so often, but, at the end, everything was solved. All these arguments didn't affect our relationship so far.


Last December, he told me, he is heading back to his origin place, and will work there, and he asked me if I would follow. At that time, I wasn't so sure, I knew if I were to sacrifice my job, I wouldn't get another job like I have now. So, the conclusion was, I asked him to go back first, and I would go there after 3 months.


Well, everything was OK during the 1st month and I even went there to visit him, but I never realised it would be the last time I saw and was loved by him!


He called me at one night, and asked when i'm going over to his place, and jokingly, i said, "I'll never go there if u do not treat me good..." Suddenly he came up with the topic - "break off"... and me, as well, jokingly replied, "as u like". I thought it was a joke.


2 days later, I knew something was really wrong, I called him and asked him why? and he replied this is what I wanted!


I begged him not to leave me, but to no avail. He insisted in giving up, despite all the promises he has made to me!


I have been falling out of love a few times, but, this time, I almost couldn't take it, I have really been thinking. "why am I being treated this way?" Only now I realize, now that I have lost him, just how precious he is to me.


I have been struggling to save this relationship, I have put in so much effort to save it, but at the same time, I know, if didn't do it, nothing will happen.


I know, when a man wants to leave, there are certain reasons and one of them is if they have a new girl.


Six months into the broken relationship, I was still struggling. I am sure I want no one else except him. I thought he had another girl. But later, entering the 7th month, he told me he is "ill", he says he doesn't want me to suffer, neither does he want to see me regretting being with him.


I really don't know if what he was telling me was the truth, but he sounded real. I tried to understand his situation, but, he still insisted on being friends.


I told him straight away that, how could you simply give up hope on me, and I scolded him, for not letting me go through thick and thin with him. But still to no avail.


I know he is suffering, but why must he push me aside? Am I really not worthy to spend my whole life with him? Why couldn't he try to understand my situation?


I was all heartbroken, when he left. I am all alone to face my daily challenges. I woke up in the middle of the night, and cried my heart out. I never realised the importance of him until he left me.


We were actually a good couple. We were so compatible and we enjoyed life as much as possible, but we've never been into a situation as severe as this.


My heart is all broken now and I know, I cannot accept any one unless it is him.


I myself had a disease when he first knew me, but, he didn't mind it, and insisted he wanted me, so I know for sure since then, no matter what, I want to stick by him. And now, things aren't the same anymore, he left me due to a sickness... all for my own good sake.

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