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He didn`t need me anymore

25 June, 2002


Well where do I begin.


I was 23 when I met Rudy, we had a bad relationship from the start.


He was still in love with his ex girlfriend and still hung on. I think I loved him more than I loved myself.


Anyway, Rudy is an alcoholic and I didn't really see it until it was too late.
He abused me physically, emotionally mentally and verbally but I still stayed because I always thought oh, he'll be nice to me.


Well that time came about three years ago when he said he was having a mental breakdown but if the truth were known he was suffering from alcohol withdrawal.
He would call me late at night threatening to commit suicide and I stood by his pathetic side because he finally needed me.
Granted I was angry because for so many years he treated me horribly like I was nothing and now all of a sudden I was the best thing ever.


Things started to change again and he started to drink, I wasn't getting phone calls and I was moving on. I always thought he needed me but it turns out he never did.
Rudy left me for another woman, I believe someone that drinks like him, I found this out one day as I was driving down a street and there he was sitting in his truck with her.


I'll tell you I am in so much pain, just yesterday I was driving down the street again and there he was with her I can't tell you how hurt I was. He just looked over at me and smirked.


I have been with Rudy for 9 years and in the end he threw me away.


Anyone that reads this do not do what I have done, as soon as you sense anything wrong run, run as fast as you can away from this. It's not worth it- I'm now 32 in 1 day and am alone.


I know I will get better one day but the pain runs very deep.


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