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31 July, 2006
First let me introduce myself, my name is Bara, name after one of the most beautiful flower in the island of Palau. My story is not sad or bitter..it's just something that a young woman would encounter and have to make an important choice between love or duty...
My story began when i first laid eyes on one of the most beautiful person i've ever seen. I stared for a second then turned away to do what i was doing. He was living on the other side of the the dormitory on the male side. I found myself staring at him,or watching how he walks...He stopped me one time to say hi.He was up on the balcony. He was so beautiful, i found myself staring at him for a long time.
I was not interested in any sort of relationship, first of all, I was on a full scholarship and i have no intention on ever falling behind. But yet i was so drawn to this Asian beauty. We got to know each other, he started to want to see more and more. He became my friend, then he worked his way into my life. He slept in my room every night. Every night when we go to sleep, he would always whisper softly to my ear,"goodnight sweetheart",so simple and yet so sweet and tender. I got so used to being with him, he tells me everyday how beautiful i am, and for some reason i believed him all the time. He was always so sweet and thoughtful.
We knew we were from two different worlds, our paths do not cross. I knew it deep inside and everytime i thought about it, it felt like something was eating my insides. My father called one day and told me i had to come home, no excuses. In my culture,it was more an obligation(too painful to mention). I cried all day that day, I tried to figure out what to do. I did'nt want to leave, I tried to reason with my parents earlier, but it was useless, they would'nt understand. He did not say anything, all he did was held me close, as if it was the last time. The last time i ever saw him was when we said our goodbyes. I held him so tight, and i looked deeply into his eyes, the eyes of love, pure and just beautiful. I turned to walk away, i felt like i would drop dead any minute, I turned to face the love of my life one more time, a picture that is still so vivid in my mind. Tall, beautiful, dark, the way he was when i first laid eyes on him.
I am now 72 years old, buried my husband,i have 3 beautiful children and 9 grandchildren. Up until this day, i have no whereabout of the man i left behind 49 years ago. I had no idea what kind of life he had, how his wife looked like. I still think about him every now and again.
I don't know why fate had to be so unfair. But i keep telling myself that duty was what i had to do, love was something i kept somewhere deep inside of me. It was what kept me going all these years, bittersweet memories of a love that will be my legacy.
"Goodnight sweetheart" i could still hear him whisper....
Love never dies...