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Frozen in Time

20 December, 2007

I was a teenager when I met Eddie,my true love. Little did I know that he would forever be seared in my heart. We didn't have a long relationship but it was the relationship that would impact me for the rest of my life.We met when our personalities were being formed and we went through a lot of really hard times together. Being homeless, in trouble, and surviving. He ended up going into the U.S. Army in 1982. I was heart broken.My familywas constantlypersuading meto just let him go and move onwith my life. Eventually,Igave into the persuadingof myfamily and stopped writing to him.I cried for weeks/months/years afterward every time I thought ofhim, how much I missed him.We totally lost touch and I thought that I would never see or hear fromhim again.Themen thatI was attractedto afterwardallresembled him in someway shape or form. Even if it was unconsciously seeingaparticular attribute insomeone, that is what would attractme to them. I got married had three kids got divorced, got married again and I am still married to my second husband now for 2 1/2 years.

Eddie still pops into my mindfrom time to timeover the years and I will go on a hunt for him through the Internet, etc. to see if I can find him somehow, someway.One day I looked on my spaceand did a namesearch and hisname popped up, could itreally be him?I left a message for him with no response.Until one day Iget an emailwith his name on it,itwas a reply tothe my space messageI had left10 months earlier and it is him!It has been 25 years since we spoke to each other. We email each other back andfourthand finallyIdecidedI hadto see him.We end up making arrangementsto see each other.He is just as I remembered him, charming, sweet, loving and incredibly handsome. He embodies everything that I have been looking for my whole life.When we met, I wasalmosthoping thathe woulddo something thatwould totally turnme off so I couldput him behind me and really move on.But, hedidn't. Now my life is completely upside down. All the emotions are just flooding backas ifthey were frozen in timeandI am re-living the pain of wanting to be with himand becauseofour circumstance,not being able to be with him all over again. True heartache is all I have been feeling. I Love my husband, but I am IN Love with my Eddie and I feel torn to pieces. Time and fate will determine my future. But, right now I am truely heartbroken.

Heartbroken in,

California

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