|Send Your Story|
06 September, 2007
The first time i saw him was at a football game and i dared myself to go up to him and casually start a conversation. What ended up happening though was me making a complete fool out of myself staring at him and stuttering, however he seemed to like it and gave me his beautiful smile. From that day on we were friends, although i never really saw him in school we still would talk on line. After a year or so we stopped talking and that was okay with me, for awhile. The next year we were in each others science class. I would work on all the papers with him and soon i started to fall for him. You have to understand something about this boy. He was the most handsome boy i had ever met, all i wanted to do was to stare into his beautiful big brown eyes. he would give me a look and it would literally take my breath away. I knew that it was obvious that i liked him, and he gave me hope! He was the biggest charmer and sweet talker so i knew that he must have had some feelings for me. I can still feel his arm brush up against mine as we walked down the hall together, he would just leave it there and his soft skin would never leave mine. My heart would melt when his hand would reach up to touch my hair, or when he would give me that look and than smile in his wild half grin. I knew that i liked him so much, more than i have ever liked anyone in my whole life, and that was saying something. Somehow i got the impression that he never felt the same way. I would sit in class and just yell to myself in my head, "please like me, please like me.. please love me." I cared about him so much that i never wanted anything bad to ever happen to him. he was a football player and a good kid, and i knew he was, because i knew him. The summer came and we slowly started to not talk anymore. That however didn't stop me from still liking him, even though i tried to tell myself i didn't. well.... it didn't work. I saw him at a festival and we hung out the whole time. You have to understand him, he has this childish air about him, yet he makes me smile. More than anything he makes my heart sing. I remember him looking at me and then slowly taking my hand and kissing it, just like they would do a long time ago. I remember coming home and to talk to him on line, he told me that kissing me had been the best part of his night. However i had to hide my love because my best friend had liked him long ago and wouldn't like it if i had anything to do with him. so i acted like he was no big deal, although everyone knew, because it was so obvious. People would tell him all the time, however he never made his move. My friends would tell me to give it up. but i coudnt because i wanted to be with him, and i had to. I turned down countless guys, saying that i liked someone else. Yet still i heard no word from him all summer until the very end. It was at a fair and i went over to him and gave him a great big hug. He was nice and alll that however he soon turned away. I walked away feeling hopeless when i heard his friend say :"whoa she seems mad." and then i heard him reply, the kid i had liked for 3 year who had all of my heart and all of me " i dont care, i dont care about her anyway." I dont think my heart has truly gotten over it. and that was just 3 weeks ago. I thought i had known him, and i had,. But over the summer he had changed and he wasnt the same sweet boy i had once knew, who would tease me softly, or bursh his arm up against mine, or would kiss my hand lightly as if he were mine, No he had changed. yet i was still in love with the old boy. The first day of junior year came and i was upset to find that he was in my english class. I ignored him. and i knew that he was surpirsed at this., He didn't look at me and i didn't look at him. I was hurt inside. yes i'll admitt it, he hurt me. Everynow and then our eyes would meet, those big brown eyes, that i care about so much. And we'll stare at each other, both remembering what had past between us before, Then we'll turn away without saying a word. Later that day i told my other bestfriend something really surpirsing to her in another class. I 'd never believe in love, i thought it was just something that people would say, but that day i told her in anguish one thing that i never thought i would say" i miss him amy! and i think i'm in love with him.." I knew nothing can ever happen between us, even though i badly want it to. I understand that he's a jerk, but i wont stop liking him, and i will never stop loving him. So i guess i have to let him go, so hes a bird now, fly away bird, you are free, finally free...I wanted to write this story so there would be a peice of me and him somewhere in this world, even though i never got to call him mine, I'll always remember his wild grin, brown eyes, and the feel of his arm.