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12 October, 2008
I was a freshmen at a new school. I met him through mutual friends. I started to like him. I talked to him online. We talked often. I saw him around school. He was always on my mind. One night, we talked on the phone asking if either of us had valentines. we both said no & he asked me if I liked anyone. i asked him who he liked. Neither of us admitted anything. He started asking me questions, is he in your grade? what type of music does he listen to? I answered & asked him the same questions. I was too scared to tell him how I really felt about him. So finally I asked him if I told him who I liked, if he would tell me who be liked. He agreed. I admitted to liking him. He seemed pleased, & told me to meet him the next morning at school. I was only slightly angry that he didn't tell me who he liked. After we hung up, I thought about how we answered the questions about eachother. I could not sleep at all that night. I woke up early & met him at school. He was my boyfriend & I was his girlfriend.
The beginning of new relationships are scary and exciting. He walked me to my classes. We spent all our time together. Our friends got jealous. We hadn't kissed yet. He kissed my cheeks but never my lips. One day after he walked me to class, he got the courage to kiss me. I walked into class happier than usual & my friends noticed. He was all that I could think about.
We were together until around summer. I didn't talk to him as much. We were drifting apart. I would get mad at him for the stupidest, but important reasons & he would be oblivious. We wouldn't talk for weeks at a time. When I did call, he would ask me what I would do if he broke up with me. I cried silently as he said this. I didnt know what to say. We hung up. We were still together, but neither of I'd were happy. got so fed up that I told him if he wanted to break up with me, he should do of already. He broke up with me that night online.
Confused and alone, I got off the computer. I didn't cry that night.
One week later, I went to the mall with my family & a group of friends was there, including him. I told my friend that I didn't want to see him. I was forced to say hi & walked away with a friend. They followed of course & I couldn't take it. I wanted to go home.
School started up again. I wanted so much to ignore him. I found myself thinking about him constantly. I promised myself I would never get back together with him because I was never truly happy with him & that wasn't really his fault.
I still think about him every night. Hoping things would be better between us. That one day I could finally get over him.