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Except for the fact that he is married...
13 April, 2009
Except for the fact that he is married, our love story is the kind everyone would wish for. We both are perfect together... but it's perfectly wrong for us to be together.
His name is Jay. I met him at work. Everybody knows him. I was a new girl then... a bit shy, simple, and hardly known except by my friends. In spite of my simplicity and seeming anonymity,he actually noticed me. After a while, he was determined to get close to me.
I started receiving anonymously sent cupcakes, flowers, desserts, and sweet somethings that made my day. I always knew there was something lovable in me but I never thought that someone would be interested enough to do those stuffs for me. I have no idea who was sending those and I readily dismiss the idea that it was from some stalker, nerd, or psychopath admirer. Truth was, i truly appreciated the gesture. I have a strange and nice feeling that the guy who was sending those is a guy that would make me happy.
Enjoying those surprises and still not knowing who was the mysterious sender, i continued with my life. Meanwhile, through Jay's efforts, we finally got introduced. I got fond of him the 1st day i met him... he made me smile and in a little while, we were laughing our hearts out. In a snap, we discovered that we are ONE SOUL in two different bodies. That day was the happy reunion of my soul and its exact identical. We started texting and calling each other everyday, communicating almost 24/7. And there was no dull moment. Everyday is full of happiness and surprises. One day, he revealed that he was the mysterious sender. I could not explain the happiness i felt and he felt the same way when i admitted that even before we got introduced, he has been my all-time anonymous crush. Since then, we were inseparable. We started finishing each others' sentence, we started thinking same thoughts, and we started to realize that we are falling deeply for each other. I never tried to hold back and from his gestures, i can tell that he is pursuing whatever it is that he feels for me. We are so close to being called a 'couple' but we did not christen our relationship with such title. We were happy with what we have and for us, that was enough.
Then, the conflict came. HEADLINE: Jay is married! I heard it from a friend. At first, i was in a state of denial. Then, it finally sank in. My rational side took control and immediately, i walked away. I did not bother to verify or ask for explanation... i just walked away leaving no word at all. I was so hurt, betrayed, and the truth became so clear... I AM TRULY IN LOVE WITH HIM. He did everything to reach me. I did not respond. I totally ignored him. But he truly knows how to get to my emotional side. He sent me self-composed poems expressing his grief, his love and his sincerest desire not to lose me. I gave in, we talked.
The news was confirmed. He is actually married with one kid. In his words, he's actually married but emotionally, he's more than single. They were not in good terms long before i came into the picture. He's not happy with her although he loves his son so much. Then he told me, he could never afford to lose me and deep inside, i knew, i can't too. We became a couple that night - a couple that hides away from the world. It has been a year now since we decided to enter into a forbidden kind of relationship. Most days we are very very happy. But on certain occasions, i actually try to break our hearts by ending everything, We both can't take losing each other so we are still together. His wife knew about me and she does everything to make my life like hell. And he blackmails him using his son. She's very much in love with him. And honestly, now, i don't know where this story would end. All i know is that we have the purest and most sincere kind of love and that we are perfect together. He's so optimistic about our future together. And though i have no doubts as to my love for him, i have second thoughts on whether to continue with this relationship or not. I know i would torture myself if i leave him and I'm not sure if i can bear the pain but sometimes, i could not just silence my rational and intellectual side. I'm just praying that i could be strong for him... for us. Or maybe, I'll just hope that his wife would finally decide to let go of him and move on. After all, she knows he does not love her anymore.