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Dying inside

19 June, 2001

I am dying inside, bit by bit, second by second, day by day. I miss you so much. How can I ever live without you. I love you so much and the only thing I can think of is being with you. Why did you have to hurt me so much? I finally did the "right" thing yesterday and told you I wanted nothing to do with you. I was fighting a losing battle anyway.

Nothing I ever said got close to your heart. You just don't want me. Why am I not good enough? Why?

Why can't you grow up and accept my love and lose some of your baggage. No one on this earth could ever love another person as much as I love you. Some days I don't even want to go on. I just wish I were dead. Life without you is like living a slow and painful death anyway. You meant everything to me and my life is totally empty without you. I just don't understand what went wrong. We had the whole world at our feet. We went through so much to be together and then when we finally got to the point we could, you left. Why?

Why did you have to take our dreams away? Our future? I just feel as if I can't go on, even thinking of my life without you.

I love you so much...

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