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Don't open your heart, too soon(part 4)
11 October, 2007
Girlfriend says she love me, but I fell in love with another. The other fell in love with me, but she cannot bare having me go home to my girlfriend. I want to break it off with my girlfriend even if it means financial hardship for me, but I can't find it in me to break her heart. I know I sound like a bad guy or a coward, but I did not set out to fall in love with anyone, period. Yet it happened. I wish I didn't open my heart ever. I love the other very much and I know she loves me too, but I don't know what to do, or I know what I need to do, but can't get myself to do it. I now stand to loose the woman I love, the woman that feels sooo right in my arms and on my lips, and yet I cannot hurt my girlfriend. I also wish my girlfriend wouldn't have gotten so comfortable in our relationship that she didn't believe someone else would steal my heart. It's not like I didn't tell her about how I felt, and yet she remained blind by choice as to the consequences. I now resent my girlfriend for making my heart feel vulnerable enough to fall in love with someone else. I don't know how much longer I can keep up this lie we're living in...my lie. I'm also afraid that if I do part with my girlfriend, it may be too late and I may have lost the woman I love. How can I feel so strongly bad if I leave my girlfriend, and yet feel so strongly in love with another? What am I to do???? I don't want to loose the woman I love and yet I may have fallen in love too soon. Soooo much pain and anguish(tears).....