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Don't open your heart, too soon(part 2)

17 September, 2007

What happened between me and her was not planned, it just happened. I wasn't looking for it or hoping it would happen, so I'm not a "player". Unfortunately for me, I fell in love with her. I let my heart open wide, when I had it sealed tight. Yes she's married, but her husband is an alcoholic who doesn't seem to care much about her and his kids. And she said shewould have left him long ago, but stayed because of fear that he might hurt himself. She said that this thing between us had no bearing on what's going on at home and how she feels for her husband. Yet, something in her changed. It's hard to put my finger on it. She says she doesn't want to end what we have, but she's not convincing enough, or perhaps I'm feeling too hurt to believe her. Hurt from feeling left out or not wanted anymore. Crazy thing is that while she may end this, it'll be me with the broken heart again. It's not her fault. I think she the most beautiful woman in the world(with all due respectto theother ladiesout there)and I tell her so almost every day that she is and I tell her how passionate her kisses are, and how they set me on fire. Yet, I shouldn't have open my heart too soon, now I have to wait until it heals, before I could shut it tight permanently. To make it easier on her I'm planning to leave my job. She doesn't know it, but maybe she'd prefer that. I just don't know what she wants or what she's thinking. Still, I guess it doesn't matter since loving someone the way I love her is painful either way, since I'm going crazy not being with her now, and if she ends it I'll be going just as crazy. I'm sooo confused, when I wasn't before. So wait, wait before you open your heart, so your heart doesn't ache as much as mine.

Side Note:Thanks for the kind words gypsy, good luck to you too.

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