They say everything happens for a reason, and if that's the case, then I fail to see it.
A few years ago I met an angel and fell in love, everything was great for a while and we became good friends but I was too scared to tell him how I felt, I was scared of love and Iíd been hurt before, I even ignored his efforts to take our friendship further and eventually he gave up and turned cold.
In a stupid attempt to win him back I tried to make him jealous by dating one of his friends. It worked for a while but we continued to keep our distance and there were a lot of games being played by both of us.
About a year later, after unsuccessfully trying many times to break up with his friend, who was very possessive, I fell pregnant by accident. I decided to keep the baby even though I didn't have any feelings for the father; it felt like the right things to do. It's not that I don't believe in abortion, it's just that it was something I couldn't't got through personally.
Lauren is now a year and a half old now; she has beautiful blue eyes and brings joy to my life everyday. But at the same time I canít help wondering "What if ?"
Iím still in love with my friend, but too many things have happened and there is sadness in my heart that I cannot ignore.
I suspect he still has feelings for me, I can see it in the way he looks at me, but I feel there is no hope at all because I've had his friend's child and we are trying to stay together for Lauren's sake.
Destiny's dealt a cruel hand because I cannot be with the one I truly love. Do things really happen for a reason or simply due to the stupid things we do?