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Distruation within myself

23 December, 2008

ok let me tell my story of how it is. i'm the mille child in my family. i have a older sister and a younger one. i was born on the north coast of south africa and then my mother split from my real dad and moved to the a big city 6 hours away. she met my step dad and things were great at first. after a few years they both started drinking heavily and one day my grandfather called my mother to look after him on the east coast because he was having a his replacement. around the same time my real father just got back to sa from prison for trying to smuggle drugs into britan. so my mother and real father went together and soon after was school holidays so my older sister and i joined them leaving my step dad behind. while there i noticed that my mother had a spark with my real dad again. i wasn't against it nor with it knowing about all the drinking and fighting back home. it was march of 2001 then i went back for school and on april 14 my sisters birthday and the return of my mother i told my step dad about the affair she had with my real dad. she went crazy and denyed it flat cursing me etc. i was 16 at the time and soon after my mother left with my half sister, my step dads only child. so he broke down and i broke seeing him that way. i never saw him cry before and he got himself into heavy debt. just about drank himself to death not knowing what time or date it was. soon after he got so lonely and had lost the woman of his dreams and his only child, he was drinking and decided to visit his mother to talk and have some company. around the corner he drove into a cyclist and tried to get away, a car followed him and around the corner from his mother the police arrest him. he went to the holding cells for about a week and everything was chaos about what happened to his life. then he got out and with me by his side we fought for custody of his daughter and won after a long battle between the north coast and 6 hours inland. by that time he was in so much debt that he had to sell our home to pay for it. my mother left my real father again because he beat her and she had affairs with other men. i looked at my step dad and still saw his golden heart broken. then college got too expensive and life at home was hard so i started working and learned alot from it but never having the opportunity because of 1 subject i couldn't complete. working so being away from home 16 hours a day never having a day off literally for up to 4 months. in the time i started work i also started chatting over the net and met a very special lady. i don't like many people but i liked her. afterward we exchanged pictures and i liked someone whom i never thought i could possibly like. i've always avoided relationships because of my family and i got swept off my feet. so i decided to move closer to her and i'm now on the north coast. only thing is that now she has realized that she can't like me and at first she told me she still loves her ex. but when you like someone, you like them and there's nothing you can do about it. so now she told me to leave her alone and doesn't want someone with the likes of me close to her. its destroyed my hope and the move here is now pointless. i don't like any lady besides her and its ironic how things turn out opposite of how i want them to be. although i am indirectly responsable for them. i'm only hoping for better days, today is her birthday and i was just thinking about everything. depending on the response i get from readers i can add extensions to my story and tell about everything. it's a very long very sad story. life, they say life is love. but without love how can you have a life? all i feel now is rejection.

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