Dissapointed
01 August, 2001
Over a year ago, I met a guy that I swore I would never date. His over-zealous beavior and assurance that he would make me his, made me rebel against any type of romantic relationship. However, I could not rid myself of his friendship because I enjoyed his company and the long, late night talks. I eventually agreed to something more than friends and in this new relationship I found the type of guy I had always dreamed of. He treated me like an absolute princess and I was the happiest girl in the world.
However, I left this summer for an 8 week internship that left us 1800 miles apart. He was my rock and strength that I needed to be away from everything I had to leave behind. He visited me while I was away, but in that time we spent together I noticed he had changed. He no longer showed me the love and feelings he had for me. To say the least I was disappointed but convinced myself that I could still make it work and when I got home things would be back to "normal".
However, when I did arrive home after a 28 hour drive I called him and found out he had cheated on me. It was only a kiss with another girl and I was willing to forgive him. Then I asked if he still loved me and he couldn't answer. I was hurt and shocked. He said he didn't know what he wanted; the single life, or me. This only happened a few days ago and since then I've gotten mixed signals from him. One moment he says he can't be with me and then he's inviting me to hang out with him and his friends.
My heart is breaking and I feel like this is all a bad dream that I will wake up from any moment. If that were only true I could sleep the entire night and lose the knot that has become a perminant fixture in my stomach.
I'm confused, hurt and disappointed. Will the pain ever end?
Sarah
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