I love him so much, I think.
It's so crazy how your heart can ache so badly, even when you know he's not the right one for you.
I love a man who had me living in nasty motel rooms, a leaky tent, sleeping in the car, living on bologna and cheese sandwiches and Little Debbie's snacks, spending his once-in-a-blue-moon pay check on drugs, rolling cigarettes from butts. It was hell.
I stayed with him because I thought that that's what you do when you love someone. You're supposed to stay with them through thick and thin. It just didn't seem like it was ever going to get better though.
I had been searching and searching for a job. He'd complain that I wasn't helping any, but he knew I'd been trying! My field is administrative, but since I was only called for one interview after sending ten resumes out, I decided I'd just apply at some restaurants. Can't even get a damn waitress job it seems!!!
I'm so confused. I don't know if he was holding me back or what, but I left him.
Should I have? or should I have stuck with him through all that crap?
My family and friends hate him, think he's the biggest loser, but I saw someone who wants to do good, who wants a good life and family. He wants, wants, wants, but never does anything to get it.
I left him because my family was no longer talking to me. They hated to see me living like that. He's only happy on drugs. He'd pick fights with me constantly without drugs. He'd put me down. I don't need that! I deserve so much better....... YET, I still love him with all my heart.
My heartache is here, but I WILL survive.