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21 March, 2008

there was a guy whom I really loved. Weíve been lovers then but that time I donít have any feelings for him. We broke up but the friendship is still there. Heís so sweet and so nice to me even though weíre not lovers anymore. Time goes by and I realized that I love him more than I love myself but at that time, he had a girlfriend so I kept my feelings for him. Every time I saw him, with his girlfriend, I feel jealous and I am angry with that girl even though I donít have the right to get mad. Until his girlfriend went to another country, he is so sad because of that, and I am very happy because I think this is the time that I can tell him how much I loved him. However, I was wrong, because I canít say it to him because I am afraid that he will laugh at me. As the days pass by I heard about the news that he is going to another country I felt so sad that I canít breathe and my tears are kept on falling. So I decided that I should say to him what I feel for him but when I am talking to him I feel nervous and guilty that I donít want to make his life miserable. When he leave the country I met I guy that is so kind but he so moody. He broke up with his girlfriend that is my friend too. He told me that he like me and I am very kind that I should forget the man that I love. So I decided to make up with him. I began to love him and give whatever he wants. I feel like a looser but I ignore it because I think I am falling for that man. But until this day, I never saw him again because he is too busy working and he has no time to go join us. I am sad but I canít understand my feelings.†

I am so confused this time because I heard the news that the guy that I love will be going back here soon. What will I do? I canít take it anymoreÖ

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