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25 March, 2008
It all started 4 years ago. I'm only 15, and it was my first day at secondary school. We told each other we hated each other as soon as we met, but that wasn't true.
For six months last year we went out, after I'd asked her about twelve times at school she finally buckled under the pressure.
We had so much fun together, went to the movies, had long conversations, and I was always there for her when she was ill or upset.
about 3 months in, I said "How come I'm so lucky to be going out with you?" and she said, "Well, I didn't really want to." I asked her if she regretted it, and she said no. I couldn't have been happier.
Then, my "best friend" Whiston came along and started groping her and feeling her up. I basically told him to piss off and leave her alone, but he kept doing it.
January, 2008: She tells me it's over. I wonder what the hell I could have done wrong, and apologised for everything and begged her to come back. I spent valentines day with her, got her a card, and even got her an egg this Easter.
I thought it was picking up, we started talking like we used to, but I was wrong completely.
One of my friends who was completely trusted by my ex got hold of some information. My ex, Amy, fancied Whiston now. Apparently he was so "laid back" and "unattainable." apparently, because I had always been there for her she felt she could have me whenever she wanted.
I was completely destroyed. I walked to her house, to tell her how I loved her after all the time we spent together.
But when I got there, it hit me: she fancied whiston. Nothing I could say would help me get her back, really. and telling her how I felt could only push her away, as she apparently thought I was already stalking her because I "talked to her too much."
I didn't want to ruin the friendship we had built up, so I just blurted out some random crap about playing Guitar Hero.
I feel like I've had to sacrifice my feelings for Amy so that she could be happy with someone else. I loved her so much, and didn't want to see her upset and confused.
I still love her, but I can't bring myself to do it. If I do, I could ruin our friendship. If I don't, I have to sit there and watch a possibly growing relationship. I'm lost as to what to do.
All I want is for her to be happy, but this is tearing me apart inside. I need to know what to do.
I can't sleep, eat or drink, I don't watch TV anymore. I just thought to myself: what's the point living without her? everything just seems empty and meaningless without somebody to talk to like Amy. Please, anyone. I need your help.