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31 March, 2008

i always saw myself as a pretty normal girl. I loved boys... i have great friends...and I'm always down to have fun. But everything started to change once i met Diane.

I really never really thought of myself as a bisexual. i mean, when i would party and get drunk, i would kiss girls, but i could never see myself in a relationship with a girl. At least not until i met Diane. Oh my gosh this girl was amazing. She came over to my table at lunch to talk to my friend Lindsey, who was also her friend. Before she walked away, she turned around and told me she really liked my shirt. I don't know why, but her saying that to me made my day. As me and my friends walked outside, out of know where i just blurted out, "She is so gorgeous!" All my friends just starred at me in confusion, only because they had always seen me as the little boy chaser, and i has just blurted out i found a girl attractive.

one day in class i got a text from a number i didn't know. the text said "So you think I'm hot?" i knew right away it was her. We talked all day and night, and at the end of the night, i asked her to stay the night at my house the next night since it would be a Friday. she was ecstatic and said yes. I was so excited, and i knew i was really falling for this girl. The next day after school, she called me and asked me to meet her at her car so she could take me home. When she dropped me off, as i was walking inside, i could see it in her eyes when i looked back at her that she was really into me.

when she came over that night everything went perfect. we laughed watched movies wrestled... everything was great. By that Sunday i couldn't handle it anymore i asked her to be my girlfriend and she immediately said yes. i was so excited. i called all my friends right away and told them. At first i though they would be mad at me, but it turns out they knew all along.

for the next few days everything went great, but then one day things started going down hill. Diane always wanted to hangout. inside and outside of school. Well i didn't want to hang with her all the time and get sick of her. Me saying this didn't go well with her. For the next few days all we did was fight fight fight. Finally one day she called me and told me she needed to tell me something. I knew it wasn't good. Out if know where she goes "I cant do this anymore." i immediately burst into tears.I knew things were going kind of bad but i thought we could work through them. I never thought that she would ever break up with me.

For the next week or so my life was a mess. I was crying every 20 minutes...Inever wanted to hang with my friends and i was also really bitchy...and it was even harder because i had my first class of the day with Diane. She would try t o talk to me like a friend but i would have to walk away or i would burst out crying.

To this day it is still hard to know that me and Diane are not together. but I'm pulling through and being strong and i know one day i will find someone even better.

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