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Cant get over it
05 February, 2008
I went out with a guy for about a year and a half and we were very much in love. We spent a lot of time together and really enjoyed the moments when we were alone. after about a year things started to slide and we had just spent 3 weeks on holiday together. Our relationship was in a rough patch and he began to fall for someone else, but quickly snapped out of it and turned his attention back to me, nothing happened with the girl. However a few months on and were back in the same place and hes treating me horribly, but I'm so in love with him that i cant let him go, so it carries on. I then found out he liked another girl and i suggested a 2 week break, though it was the last thing i wanted.
At the end of the 2 weeks, he wanted to split up with me and although i was very very upset, i knew it was for the best. He told me he wouldn't go out with anyone for a while after that, as he did love me very much. After around 4 months, he was together with the girl he liked whilst we were going out. i found it very difficult but because i constantly hung around with their friends i had to get used to it. Things began to get easier.
Its now been 9 months since i split with him, but i am still very much in love with him, and i cant stand it. to make matters worse i found out last night that he in fact met up with this girl whilst we were together and they kissed! I'm heartbroken because i thought he actually loved me, but it all seems a lie. I hate him so much! but i love him at the same time, i cant seem to let him go. I thought he respected me and then i found out he did this and he is so much more of a ****** than i thought and its crushed me that iv had to realize that because i have always defended him to my friends, now i look stupid. To make it worse, i cant take it out with him as i am afraid of ruining our friendship group as we are all going on holiday together soon. I keep trying to blank him, give him cold looks, but he jokes around with me and i cant help laughing and smiling at him, it drives me crazy! please, any advice, i need help!