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Call him and loose your dignity or Just wait, wait and wait
07 August, 2007
I've always loved being single and partying with my girly friends. My first relationship was at college, lasted six months. All I remember was i wasn't happy, i was just searching for something else...i wanted that something else to be in him, perhaps that is why my relationship lasted as long as it did. After a night with the girls, I was over it, back in the "i love being single" phase.
I went to university, again i must emphasise how mush i loved being single in 1st yr of university, met new people. i was a party animal, whilst studying the Law. my confidence (which i did lack) grew at University. one thing i noticed about myself, which i do hope it changes.My confidence came from my admires. I wish i could be more confident without men liking me.
second year at university taught me not to get involved with my male friends. it just never worked out for me. although it was exciting, i did enjoy the flirting and the attention, but that cost my friendship.
Third year, I stopped being that girl that loved being single. Another lonely valentines day passed, no cards (other than the one from friends), or a rose. I was very emotional at that time/ having friends that were in happy relationship, didn't help, but it did raise the hope in finding someone.
i decided that i should stop being fussy and start flirting, and so i did.
I decided that I need a confidence boost, and decided spontaneously to go out clubbing (and to flirt) with a friend. Somebody approached me in the club, whilst ordering my drinks at the bar, he was absolutely gorgeous. I sat with him, he bought me a drink, and he tried to keep me entertained by telling me a joke (i didn't get it at first -come on i was tipsy). well we exchanged numbers and kept in contact.We were practically on the phone for hours everyday (i know its not the most romantic place to find the man of your dreams, but we must not forget, this is reality). Month later we decided to meet up. I had the butterflies in my stomach, when I saw him for the first time being sober, i was extremely surprised how handsome he was. He picked me up in his luxury car (he was 15minutes late).i felt he was too good for me, what was he doing with me? Had the most sexiest dimples in his smile. he was a couple of years older than me. So we dated for 4months.
I started to get doughts about this relationship. the reasons: Came late all the time, forgot my birthday, even after reminding him, he didn't make no effort (not even a card), left me 4hours in a hotel room-come back a slightly tipsy, never compliments me.. He hurt me the most when i took a whole day out to see him, he was done with me after only 3hours and dropped me off back to the train station.
When i finally told him how i felt, and that I doubted that he actually truly liked me, he tells me to try not to make any rash decisions and sleep on it, he'd call me the next day.
So i waited for his call the next day, he didn't call. i called him the day after, we spoke for 5minutes. he told me he would call me back (as he was'busy'). he never did. i couldn't bare to call him, i felt that if i did, it would be like chasing after him, i didn't want loose my dignity.
It has been over two weeks, and he has not yet comunicated with me ever since. It's funny, How the distance make you close, and the things you lost are the things you've lost are the things you want most. I keep telling myself he wasn't worth it, but you forget all the bad things and rememebr the best bits. I get flash back, of the night when he thought i was asleep and cuddled me in bed, when we lay in the park on a summers evening gazing at the sky, when he smile at me his dimples. He stole my virginity, is that all he wanted? they say men think with their third leg, is that really true. I know there are better people out there, but why for the first time, do I find it hard to get over this one?