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06 January, 2009

This story began in 1999. I was 23 yrs old at the time. I had been in and out of a relationship with " Joe" since I was 19 yrs old, we had a son together. I was out with my friends one night when I met the man that I would not be able to get out of my mind for the next 8 years.

I met Bryan at a bar that my sisters and I went to once in a while. We had so much fun together. I loved him more than I had ever loved any guy. Our personalities just CLICKED. We just had so many good times together.

I found out I was pregnant about 3 months into the relationship. I had to make some decisions, and fast.

Joe, the father of my first son, had so much going for him, and he still wanted to be with me. Well, Bryan, he was from another state very far away. I just could not really see him ever having a good career and all the other stupid thoughts that were going through my head. I was young.

I made the decision to tell "Bryan" that the child was not his.Joe was hurt over the fact that I was pregnant by another man, but he accepted it. He wanted us to be together even if I was carrying another man's child. We both agreed that we would never tell anyone the truth. He took full responsibility for my new son.

Bryanwas very hurt when I told him the baby wasnt his. He was such a good person and I know he was very much in love with me. I had to do what was best for the baby. ( or so I thought)Bryan moved back up north.

I thought aboutBryan EVERY SINGLE DAY. I looked everywhere for him, I do mean everywhere. We got back in touch two yrs ago and met up with each other. He had been searching for me everywhere also! We were still very much in love.

I forgot to mention that I didnt stay with "Joe". We split up when the baby was about two.HE has been a great father to him and still is.

The problem now is that even though I want to be with Bryan so badly. It would never work out. We have this 8 yr old child together. ( he knows he is the father now) It would ruin a lot of people's lives. I don't know if I could ever tell my son. It would tear Joe's heart right out of his chest if I let "our little boy" know the truth. It would not be good.

In the mean time, I am so in love with this man.

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