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Broken hearts and deep lies

03 February, 2008

well it all started last year around this time when i feel in love with who i think and hope is the love of my life, Carol who is 14 and I'm 16. I never thought it would be her untill we started writeing notes in church witch was thetime i could see her . then it wasnt about the notes it was about that brife second when i felt those cold soft hands. i started to notice when those brife seconds became longer and longer untill i would hold her hand for minuets.

After about two weeks her mom found us in the same room together in the dark and freaked out. Her dad told me if he saw us in the same room together that she wouldnt come back to church. so i was going to stop going to church so she wouldnt get in trouble so i gave her an early birthday present but her dad found it.

so I told her we had to brake up so we did that day (my birthday) I got drunk and cryed myself to sleep, I was broken without her. I turned to drugs and beer. after 3 weeks we got back together then one night she called me and we talked for awhile and she said "i love you" I told her I didn't love her anymore then she started to cry I said it again and hung up and cryed I did it becaus I know she wouldn't get in trouble if she didn't love me. she sent me a text that was pretty bad. so I still drink and smoke becaus I miss her and need her becaus I still love her

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