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Broken Heart

25 October, 2007

Me and my ex-boyfriend were on and off for a year and i was a virgin at the time......and he never rushed me or forced me to do anything that i didnt want and that's what i loved about him....then we stopped talking for quite a while then we started talking again when he called me out the blue we started talking again. In my heart, i knew something was up its like my best friend constantly told me "Your a virgin...he's going to constantly come back he is the predator and your the prey" but i always told him that wasnt true and he would never do something like that to me. My best friend never said i bet i prove you right, but i always had held those words close to me for some odd reason, we started talking again before school started then he came to see me on aug 13. When he first came over we were distant b/c we hadnt seen each other since the last time we went together so his appearance was different. After 30 minutes, he loosened up we started kissing, and talking, and he started to get horny and kept telling me he wanted some....It felt so good when he kissed my neck "i kept saying no, you can wait" and then he told me"What you scared, you think we gone break up or something" "you don want to be ma baby mama" i said hell no. After an hour or so of just kissing and his begging continuing i gave in, not to his whining but peer pressure.(crying) I cant help but sit here and relive that horrible experience b/c haha it only 3 minutes i didnt even enjoy it. My first time was horrible i faked the moaning and everything it was so bad i dont even know if i came or not>>>(seriously). But after that night we talked ever so often. When i called him he didnt pick up and he damn sure never called back. I told my friend b/c i needed a shoulder to cry on and his was available whenever i needed it and he never once said"i told you so". After a few months i got over it and told myself he was full of shit since the beginning and im glad i finally realized 2 late. My ex-boyfriend benito i dated him for 2 years he died in my arms from a gunshots to the chest it made me feel like shit even more because i loved him without a doubt and he should have been the one to take my Virginity but he wasnt. I dont regret the decisions i made because at one point it was exactlyy what i wanted.Iwillneverlove another likei loved benito(rip)butat the same time i have to move on it will just take a little longer????????

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