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Break-up my fault

28 April, 2003

My boyfriend and I met in college. I immediately fell for him, and we were together for three happy years. We were the couple that everybody thought was so cute and happy, and we were. Not to say we didn't have any problems... we did, as every relationship has.

We lived 6 hours apart, and although the long distance was a pain we made it work. Outside of college, we saw each other once a month. After college, we still saw each other once a month. To have somebody you love so much so far away killed me, but for the time being there was no other alternative. Well, he got a job with the government and had to be in intense training for 5 months across the country. I would only be able to see him once or twice during this time. When he told me this, I freaked out and said that I couldn't handle the long distance anymore and wanted to take a break. It was the last thing I wanted, and I still can't believe those words came out of my mouth. Now, instead of being only 6 hours apart, we are clear across the country from each other. I want to get back together with him so badly, but he thinks we need to be on our own for a while. I am just terrified that he will find another woman, and I won't be there to stop it. I don't know what to think - the saying "Out of sight, out of mind," or "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I just miss him so much, and I am the reason why we broke up. If he finds another woman, I think I will die.

I had a great relationship, and I was only thinking of myself. I am the one to blame for our break-up. I need advice! I know this is a unique situation, but if he finds somebody else, how do I survive that?

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