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Black rose

08 February, 2003


When born, a child is born into love, but it cannot see and is surrounded by darkness.


The child knows no limits. It only knows that it gets what it wants and that is love; and as a child grows it should receive love.


When love is born it needs attention. It is born into darkness like that of a child. If you feed the heart it will grow strong, If you strain the heart... it dies and becomes nothing but used. My philosophies are that love does not exist.


I once believed I had found my soul mate. Only a handful of people in the entire world find theirs and I being the age of fourteen had found mine. I am now seventeen. I still feel the same way; yet something I never believed could happen, did. I fell out of love and into darkness. The person I would give my entire existence for has crumbled me in the palm of their hand. She does not see it. She cannot comprehend, her eyes are too blinded by her life to see my pain and when I show her my pain, she shows no remorse.


This person I love and always will and for three years going on four now, I have been through nothing but pain and heartache. I stretched my very existence, sanity, religion, EVERYTHING to be with this person I love.


I do not know what I did wrong... I didn't do anything besides love her and what is one supposed to believe when one hears nothing but the same. I never felt feelings coming back from her, but I stayed there... and she left me so many times. Like a fool I took her back and when I knew she was there to stay she wasn't faithful, she put her hands on everyone she knew besides me, I am still with her and I cant let go, every time I've tried to leave her I wind up wanting to kill myself. I cant leave her. But I have to. When I started too, She acted hurt, what am I supposed to do to unwrap myself from around her finger.

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