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Bitterly, sweetly, It slipped away...

27 July, 2003


Only two years ago, I met him. We were taking a class together and it all seems like a dream, now. There was electricity rushing throughout our veins and heat radiating from every pore of our skin.


Feeling his mouth kiss mine for the very first time was like floating across clouds. His smile would splash sunlight all around me. I was in his web and I had no desire to escape. His warm body, I almost couldn't tell where I started and he ended. I wanted to crawl inside of him, melt into him. I was devoted to him and loved being devoted to him. When he spoke about our life and future together, I wanted to cry. The intensity of thinking that this person was really meant for me, my partner throughout life, made me so gracious. It also scared me to death.


I knew how much love I had invested and this one could really hurt me. Last March, I became pregnant with our child. I can touch my belly and remember the day I met him. He decided I was not the one for him and when I heard those words I knew... This one was going to rip out my soul.


I still carry this baby for 3 more months and I feel as though life has played a cruel trick on me. I held on so tightly to my lover, now, his hold is on me, forever.


Until the end of our days we will be linked together by our child. Though I may bury this pain deep inside of me, I will never be the same again. I opened my tightly clenched fist to find my own cold empty hand.

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