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Better to have a love and lost than to have never loved at... I think not...

23 March, 2007

I'm 16 years old, many people would say that I would have no idea was love is, that I'm just a child. I believe that young love is the purest and the most beautiful. I do know what it is like to love someone so much and then all of a sudden they are gone. In my ninth grade year i moved to my mothers house in Arkansas. I never would have thought that going there would change me forever. I was never used to having guys fawn over me, but when i started school in Arkansas i must have gotten more attractive during the summer cause i had a couple of different boys ask me out in the first week of school. I didn't see the point of getting into a relationship right off the bat. After a couple of months of not dating I decided to start dating this guy and it didn't work out, and after him i dated two other guys before I found the right one. I still remember the first time he ever called me we talked for 5 hours and it was amazing how much we clicked. The first time we hung out was on Halloween night. I remember trying to get all pretty for him even though it was hopeless because it was raining outside, and we were going to go walking around town. it was the perfect night, we almost kissed but i refrained because i had a boyfriend and after that night i knew that i would dump my boyfriend for you him any day. I remember being anxious because he wasn't at school for the rest of the week. As soon as he got back we were going out. Being with him was such a good thing but then things got bad. He started to get really jealous of the guys i would talk to and after Christmas break i ended up dumping him... We stayed apart for about a month and then i realized i really did love him. Things after that were awesome I shared everything with him, he was my first everything. We even made love. I never realized until it was too late that i took our entire relationship for granite. Now i wish i was have cherished every single minute i had with him. My mom didn't quite understand how happy i was and we were going to be moving to a town 20 minutes away. I thought it was the end of the world. Little did i know that the end of my world was very near... In the end we didn't move but something way more tragic happened. After the decision not to move was made my mom's bastard of boyfriend came back into our lives despite my attempts to tell her that he was no good. I guessed as long as we were staying in Arkansas i would be OK. Unfortunately that wasn't the case i came home one day to find that we were moving to North Carolina in a week. I think i cried for a whole week. The hardest part was telling Levi that i was leaving. We both cried till there were no more tears. Thelast day of our spring break we pulled out of that town andI was gone forever. The hardest part was to let go and to this day i haven't let him go. hopefully someday i will be with him. The funny thing is thatwe spenta yeartrying to hate each other and move on but in the end our love is still as strong as it was the day i left. and if i could have one thing in the worldit would be to have one more day to say goodbye.

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