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Better In time ( Bubbly Part II)
23 June, 2008
Mark and I continue the love that we had, he became my comforter within the times I felt cold and depressed when am in pain he's there to cheer up and he never fails to assure me that he loves me more than any one else and that he's there whenever I need him.
then One day I found out that I was pregnant with my husband not mark because mark was based In Australia as Ive mentioned on the first part of my story. I told mark about it and ask if he could still take care of me and with no second thought he says YES of course Ill take care of you both of you, and I felt so happy that day, I ve become fond and loved mark more and more until I found out that I love him more than my husband.....
we fight of course sometimes but make up and reconcile as always. I always felt guilt inside of me i have a daughter which is my adopted child and I love her more than anybody else in the world, every time I see her crying begging for me to make her daddy come home ( my husband) my heart was torn apart, she's with me by schedule and with her dad by weekends, she's asking me what happened why we separated and lord god knows it was a tough questions, she ask me If I still love her daddy, why did I make him go. she's just three and yet I could feel she's in tough situation.
I did tell everything with mark and as he always do assures me that every thing's gonna be fine and my little girl will understand too soon. things went on so well. until finally my husband and I need to talk about my daughter sake, so I agreed, I told mark about it and he says I should make a good decision. after that mark didn't call me for two days i wonder why.
next day I emailed him and ask if why he didn't bother to call me or even mail me. he says nothing so I told him I wasn't able to make the talk with him ( my husband)because I got sick for two days. and in just a minute he called me and apologize. I wonder why...
then weeks past i got a letter with one of his co-doctor telling that i should make a decision urgently if am gonna stay with my husband or with mark she was mark's mentor for years, the taught of me and my husband talks drives mark crazy he drink and throw punches thru the wall and everywhere, and her friend got so worried about it, so she tells a lot of the things mark did, and I felt shocked. my thoughts of my little girl and the little life inside me linger on my mind. so that day I decided to end everything between me and mark before it gets worst many people got so affected by this relationship and I cannot take it all... so I bid mark goodbye that night and I fell that my world crashes down on me just wished i was dead I went out and drink a lot and then drive and drive I was still wishing I was dead, then I crash into a big wall along the road. the next thing I know I was in the hospitals bloody and drowsy the picture of my daughter appears in front of me and I cried,the doctor breaks the news that I lost the baby inside me and all the pain i went on emotionally and physically. I lost the baby I lost mark and my husband Is not with me.
I felt that it was a calling from above and I have to make things right and I let go of marks hand and bid him goodbye forever. I know we'll both get better In time, even this hurts more than I could hope for. i love you mark but we are never meant to be.