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27 February, 2007
I'm not a good writer but i'll try my best to put what happened in words.Forget about where I'm from or what I do, all I no is that I'm 25 and I've been married for 3 years now, I new my wife in high school and believe it or not she was the only one to see my 1st kiss, I mean how many guys had their wives see their first innocent kiss??!!
Well we where friends then and she always hated my girl friends in high school. It was 2 years after high school when I met her again and we fell for each other, I was a virgin then call it gay or dumb that's up to you… I wanted my 1st time to have a meaning and it did coz she was a virgin as well, we were’nt 13 or 14 year olds and exploring; no we were young adults that have barely been to 1st base with people we dated. We stayed together for 4 years before we got married and through out those years we went through a lot of fights lets say tones of fights and problems, we survived the fights coz I was the one always holding on to the relationship going on my knees and crying my ass off like a woos coz every fight was “its over” for her not to mention the insults, as for the problems we faced in life? They were tragic due to the difference in religion that her mom was so racist about and still is of course, her parent’s racism drove us to run away and get married, I had to leave my job coz we had to disappear and move to another state, but my manager new my story and said don't be late, ur place will stay till u come back which I thought that would help us when we come back “married” and put her parents in the real world but of course her evil dad got to know where I work and told the GM not my manager that I kidnapped his daughter and I donno what… basically he got me fired. Which of course led us to look for a way to make money… and one day walking in the mall I saw a Dupont lighter displayed in a very exclusive way! And I had the same lighter in my pocket that she said her dad gave her once, I new the lighter was expensive but never thought it would be worth $5,000 so Cha Ching, we put it up for sale to solve our money problems till I get another job, and the lighter turns out to be stolen and we get locked up for it for a while till they traced the girl who did it starting from us to her father to her father’s friend and so on, in this country, there is nothing such as innocent till proven guilty… so we got abused, beaten up treated like shit basically. And even after this was over life was against us in anyway possible, the tragedy went on…and on I’m not going say each and everything that happened but my whole point is that through those bad times yes we had fights but we were tight and nothing would break us apart no matter what, and I thought that all these fights will ware out with our problems in time. We get married, we both get good jobs, her parents are ok with us, we have a nice house, we have 3 nice cars and everything is ok except for………US. I wish if I can video cam our fights that are almost on a daily basis now and post them.I was taking all these insults and disrespect all that time thinking that its ok she is frustrated because she wants us to have a good decent life, bit by bit I started to feel hated and bit by bit she started to be the man in the relationship, and she hits and throws things at me.
The nice house we had…..is a MESS from her breaking things, and every time I walk out of the house preventing more physical fights and insults she tries to commit suicide, by taking pills or drinking detergents or antiseptics, which actually drives me even further away from her, I'll be lying if I'd say I don’t love her anymore but she drives me away with the way she looks down on me although as a guy I’m ok looking I guess, I mean she is one hell of a hotty and she wouldn’t have got attracted to me from the 1st place if I was out of her league, I know I satisfy her in bed, I make good money, I know how to pamper a women and yes there are times when I just don't feel like it and this is when she fights with me. Her problem is that if I poke her once she stabs me 10,000 times. After all this she looks down on me, smacks and punches with hatred, and calls me a fagot selfish piece of shit….. that is a women that I can't look in her eyes for more than 10 seconds or I'd embarrass my self with watery eyes……..
That breaks my heart……………………………………………………………………