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Am so confused!

16 January, 2007

Well at the moment am only 18 and am going through so much.A few months ago i broke up with this guy i truly loved because of his bad habits. So i went on with my life,after a month this guy asked me out,i know him from before.i said yes to him because i thought i will forget my ex.Even though i didn't love him i said yes.Its been 3 months now am with him and i just realised that i don't love him the way i loved my ex,even though his such a nice and loving guy i just cant love him because i still have feelings for my ex and i don't think i can ever love anyone except my ex,even though my ex hurt me so much i still love him.The problem now is that i broke up with the guy i was with a week ago,the poor guy was shattered,he asked me the reason why and i told him there is no reason,i just couldn't tell him that i don't love him.He still calls me,he thinks there is still chance.All my friends were angry with me because what ever i did to him was really wrong and sad but i don't understand whats the point of being with him if i don't even love him, i know i was wrong because i should have never said yes tohim at the first place.
Now my ex is back in my life,he wants to be with me again,he says that he has changed but how can i believe him after he lied to me so many times. How do i know that he changed? What am i supposed to do am so confused because i still love him to bits but am scared to go back to him in case he hurts me all over again,how can i trust him? i cant believe am going through so much at this age,on one side i got a guy who loves me so much and on the other side a guy i love more than anything, who do i go to? i don't have the answer,my heart and mind is totally fucked up.i wish i can somehow get out of this mess.
My other story-heartache-''true love hurts''

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