The day I met you was an ordinary day. Little did I know that my life was about to be forever changed. I think I fell in love with you almost immediately. You were the one thing I had been searching for my entire life, only I didn't have a clue that it was you. You were very different than anyone I had ever known. I guess that was part of your allure. You were so easy to talk to and so warm and cuddly and always said you loved to hug. It was almost like you sparkled or something. Every time we were around other, I felt like the most special person on Earth. At times, you made me feel like a princess. I could not believe I had lived my entire life without you. I totally adored you and admired you for what you had overcome in your life. I wanted to be with you for all eternity, growing with you, and building a life for us together.
My family accepted you, your family accepted me and we all loved each other. We went through so much together, your dad's death,! my dad's very unexpected death, career changes, and many more things. I loved you so much that I would have spent every second of every minute of every hour for the rest of my life trying to make you happy. I thought you loved me too honey. I really did.
It suddenly seemed like I had a beautiful and bright future with the one person in my life who had made me feel special and very much loved. I trusted you with every secret, every feeling, every part of my soul. I looked forward to every sunrise because I knew you were on the same planet I was an that you were mine. Until that day, the day you started pulling back. Then it got worse and worse.
I did everything I could to hold onto you. Everything I could imagine. I did things I couldn't have imagined had I not been so hurt and in so much pain. Gosh, I loved you so much baby. I told you exactly how I felt about you and that I couldn't live with the thought that you would not be part of my future. I needed you and loved you so much. I thought we were soul mates. See honey, I created my future and put it in a big beautiful fluffy bubble. Everything I had wished for my entire life that I felt would make me happy was in that bubble, including you.
For things not to work out between us meant my whole bubble would burst.
I can't tell you the shock and grief I have went through these past few months. Suddenly, I had no future. I only had memories of the one person who could make me feel the way you did. I am so lost. I miss your touch, the way it felt when you kissed me and hugged, the way I felt every time I saw you. It was as if the whole world lit up when you walked into a room. You were the very essence of my being. Now, I feel totally empty and lost. You have said and done many, many hurtful things to me. Somehow though, that little spark of magic you brought into my life is still flickering. I still love you with all my heart and miss you every second of every day.
You are the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. You meant everything to me. I couldn't even begin to tell you how difficult and heartbreaking this past few months have been. I would not wish this pain on anyone. This has been the worst time of my life. I still long for you at night. Some days are better than others now, I must admit, but tonight is not one of those times. I don't know what it is tonight. It is almost as if I can still feel you here.
I wish I could understand why you left me. I wish I could have had a chance to change your feelings. I know that you care about me. I can still tell.
Please come back to me......T