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A bitter world, a bitter fool by Evine Dollname
12 February, 2009
It seems so easy to give your heart into another's grasp. I've grown up with an ability to trust others with severe ease. Quite often I find myself spilling all my thoughts, dreams, feelings into people's ears because I'm somehow not capable tof detecting danger. It really isn't fair that the world is cruel to the point where your closest friends are your most acrimonious enemies. But i don't regret or blame this characteristic.
From far, I found this one guy very attractive and intresting, personality wise. He usually seemed down-to-earth, but he had these adrenaline rushes where he had urges to do risky activities. The closer i got to him, the more i began to sense an edgy darkness. He had terrible mood swings. Also, these adrenaline rushes weren't natural, he was intaking certin substances that provoked them.
At first I was completly confused, in a state of horror and shock but all at once I liked this dark side he possessed. Though, when i finally got a moment to recollect myself, i realised he needed help. He needed to change. Not to scare him, I carefully slipped in slight criticise on account of what he did in between our conversations. At the end, he made a decision to change.
All of my effort and support was not once returned. Instead, he left me all alone, completly ignoring me without the slightest reason. I had told him so much about myself, so many secrets. He promised to be there for me when i needed him and often expressed that i could fully trust him. What a bunch of bull. For a time i truely believe he cared, but, for whatever reason, he shut down completly toward me. I don't regret anything- it was good while it lasted and Im thankful for the experience.