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A Lesson Called Love

19 September, 2003

I met him in 1999, when I was in my last year at college. Before I met him, I had never had a boyfriend and never been kissed.

When I first met him, never did I imagine in a million years that we would end up together. I wasn’t interested in meeting anyone at that point but I guess the old cliché ‘It always happens when you least expect it’ is appropriate in this instance!

We lived very close to one another and as time went on, I concentrated on spending just as much time with him as I did on my education. (I did pass and get my degree though!)

We spent Valentine’s together even though we were ‘Just friends’ and at that point I was coming to realise that I was falling in love and I could naturally sense the feelings were mutual. Just nothing was said but the looks we gave each other said it all.

I went away on holiday and while I was there, as much as I enjoyed getting away from it all, my heart was back at home with him and quite naturally, I couldn’t wait to get back from holiday and see him.

When I came back, it wasn’t long before we shared out first kiss and admitted our true feelings to one another. The time I spent with him was indescribable and the emotions I experienced were feelings of pure ecstasy.

The cracks in our relationship began soon after we got together. They were caused by the people around us, and his inability to trust me solely. I blamed myself for not letting him know how much I loved him at the time, but on reflection, I was not to blame and I am glad that I have come to that realisation.

I had to move away for other reasons and we continued seeing each other on and off before I finally ended the relationship this year.

There are days when I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to love and there are days when I still feel so much pain that I wish I could erase him from my memory.

Writing this story has made me realise even more so that he was a bad person but falling in love was a good experience.

So I’d like to end by letting him know that I am very grateful he taught me to love and even though he broke my heart.. I have learnt from both.

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