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27 September, 2007
keira only had ever loved one boy, and that had been in middle school. She was a sophomore now and everything was different. She was sitting on the ledge gazing out into the parking lot, looking at all the cars lined up reflecting the sunlight into her dark eyes. Slowly she opened the window and the wind caught her by surprise making her dark hair slice across her face. The curtain billowed up looking as if a ghost had come into the room.
"It's cold!" a girl yelled from the back. keira ignored her, the crisp air felt good on her face. It felt like a cold bucket of water was washing over her, taking away all doubt and thought until his voice broke through her thoughts, acting as a warm barrier between her and the outside world.
"it feels great! leave it open!" he said from behind her. She turned around only to see him checking her out. His dark eyes were locked on hers and he smiled. That's all he ever had to do. She smiled back then took her seat in front of him, right next to the window. "thanks." he said. All she could do was nod, Finally she spoke.
"so did you do your homework?" she asked as she turned in her seat to face him.
"nope." he said with his wild half grin. He only looked at her for a second, then his eyes were preoccupied with something else.
"Blake!" she said in a teasing tone. He looked at her like he could care less about his homework.
"so?" he said in a mocking tone." did you do yours?"
"as a matter of fact, yes i did." she said sticking up her nose at him...teasing again.
"Yeah right! I bet you just wrote numbers down!" He shot back.
"No!" she said again, laughing.
"lemme see." he said taking her paper. Very carefully he wrote his name on it in his pencil, "there you go." he said handing it back to her.
"thanks..." she said as the teacher rang out to the class that she was going to check the homework. Keira turned back in her seat as the teacher went over all the problems on the board. She could hear every now and then Blake sigh loudly, or hear his desk move, sometimes she could feel his leg shake. Still she never turned around just to smile at him, or to tell him what she so badly wanted him to know. How much she liked him, and how bad she wanted him to be hers. during class that's all she could think about. Every thing he would do she would analyze in her head over and over again. She strained to remember what had happened between them on the computer the night before. They had been teasing each other about how "they're In love". When she had finally said she had to go, she had told him to have sweet dreams and he had replied "only if i dream of you.".
"only if i dream of you.." he had said. She couldn't stand when he would say corny stuff like that, but lately she had begun to like it. She wondered if he really meant anything that he said, somehow she doubted it. They were only joking around with each other. Yet every time she heard the "L" word she wished he really meant it. During the rest of class he mind was just set on math, she needed to get a good grade so she couldn't let herself think of him.
"y=mx+b...beautiful dark eyes...I think they have a green flecks in them.." she thought and tryed to concentrate.."okay shut up keira, back to math...3=2x+9 so the slope would be 2 over 1...i wonder if he's thinking about me right now? Ohhh Blake! please! hear me! listen to me! give me a sign if you can understand what i'm thinking right....now!" his pencil dropped...she felt really foolish..."i wish he liked me."
After they were assigned their homework the bell rang and everyone got up to leave, keira took some time gathering her books and when she finally got to the door there was a surprise waiting for her. Blake. They were going to walk down the hall together and keira was thrilled.
"walk faster women!" he yelled to her, keira put on her shocked face.
"don't call me that! it's so derogatory for women!" she shot back, he was at his locker and he turned back to face her with his wild half grin.
"what do you want me to call you then? man!?" he yelled to her, she only eyed him in response with a half smile, soon she was at her locker and their time together was over.
"what do i want him to call me?" she pondered, "19-7-3" was her locker combination, she opened it and began to search for her next book, "what do i want him to call me?..babe? sweetheart...muffin? no..." then she smiled as she thought of one that made her heart ache and her stomach drop.."women..."
This is a real story about my feelings for a boy that never shared them. I wrote these down and turned them into a book, i still like this boy, and he still doesn't like me. But at least I'll always have my memories...i hope you enjoyed it.
With all my love for J.P,