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4 years for nothing

11 October, 2003

I looked at the photo of you and me four years ago. I can honestly say that I can't remember being that happy.

At 52 years of age I have done so much. I have been married, had four children and yet I look at that picture and my heart skips a beat. We look so happy, I look so happy! And now four years later, I still love you the way I did then. But now I am trying to get over you.

You caused me so much pain, so much heartache. In all my life, in all the things I have been through, I had never been in so much pain. It's been nearly four weeks since I've seen you, and how I so wish to see your face again, to be in your arms, to spend the night together. But it won't happen. I will not let it. We've been through it so many times before. I have to let you go, you are not good for me. I resist the temptation to send you an sms message. I resist the temptation to ring you.

You didn't love me, I just have to remember that. Actions speak louder than words, how many times have I told you that??

You failed all the time.

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